A Four-Day Retreat
Opening a Path to Facing Impermanence,
Uncovering Life Meaning, and Finding One's True Self
This unique retreat draws from two profound traditions, End-of-Life Doulas and Zen Buddhism. They offer different perspectives, but share a deep commitment to exploring fundamental questions: Who are you really? What does it mean to die? and, How do you live—and even die—with a deep sense of meaning?
The end-of-life doula approach carries wisdom that comes from a clear-eyed view of what human life looks like from its final vantage point; what people wish they had known or done sooner, and what matters when almost nothing else does. Zen Buddhism offers a direct inquiry into the nature of the self, mind, and reality using meditative practices as a means to investigate direct experience rather than relying on belief. Together they form a profound way to face the fear of dying, reduce the suffering of attachment, discover how to live a meaning-focused life at any age, and awaken to one’s true nature.
What is the Gateless Gate?
The Gateless Gate refers to a Zen koan collection, the Mumonkan, which literally means a barrier with no real gate. Each koan, or Zen encounter in the Mumonkan, presents a barrier to realizing the true nature of reality because we are stopped from passing through as long as we rely on our intellect rather than experience. Once we see this there are no gates.
In a deeper sense, the gateless gate is the realization that the barriers we think exist between self and other, life and death are an illusion. We actually live in a world where there is no inside nor outside, no relative and absolute. There is only just this. And that is the key to facing impermanence, finding meaning, and discovering our true nature. Of course, the mystery and the focus of this retreat is on what is “just this” and seeing how to live it by actively engaging in the doula approach combined with Zen meditation practice.
Schedule
August 2026
Online Zoom Class
August 17th - 21st
Workshop Retreat Activities
Over the four days you will:
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Experience guided imagery to face impermanence in your life
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Engage in creative activities that reveal the shape of your life and core values
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Write legacy letters to yourself and people in your life
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Acknowledge and honor losses through journaling with prompts
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Work in pairs and small groups with experiential exercises to explore meaning
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Practice Zen-style meditation, including koans, to start realizing the nature of mind and self
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Use ritual to let go of that which no longer serves you
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Take mindful walks in nature, to connect to what is larger than yourself
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Offer compassionate presence to fellow participants to support their growth
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Have the opportunity to meet with the instructor to receive personal guidance.
At the end of the workshop retreat participants will make personal vows to integrate their insights, discoveries and new found sense of meaning as they go back to inhabiting their lives. They will also commit to continuing their meditation practice at whatever level fits into their goals, responsibilities and style of life. Then, during the next six months two online evening meetings will offer the opportunity to discuss how they are doing with the vows and meditation practice, the obstacles they may have encountered and how to overcome them.
About the Instructor
Henry Fersko-Weiss, LCSW has been at the forefront of the contemporary end-of-life doula movement for over 20 years. He created the first fully developed end-of-life doula program at a hospice in the U.S. in 2003. In 2014 he co-founded and then led until his semi-retirement the International End-of-Life Doula Association (INELDA), a non-profit organization that has greatly expanded the use of doulas in end-of-life care.
He has served hundreds of dying people and their loved ones; created death doula programs at hospices, hospitals, and long-term care facilities, and taught thousands of people to serve at the bedside of the dying. His book, Finding Peace at the End of Life, A Death Doula’s Guide for Families and Caregivers, first published in 2017 under the title Caring for the Dying, was named one of the best health and medicine books that year by the Library Journal. Henry continues to do doula work, train and mentor doulas, and see a limited number of people in his private therapy practice.
Henry’s Zen practice goes back to the early 1970s, when he started sitting with the Zen Studies Society (ZSS) in New York City. The head teacher, Eido Shimano Roshi, invited Henry to live and practice at Dai Bosatsu Monastery in Livingston Manor NY, where Henry spent two years. On leaving the monastery Henry lived for nearly a year in Eido Rosh’s home in NYC so he could continue serving as a senior student in the ZSS sangha.
Later Henry continued his Zen studies with Roshis Bernie Glassman and Sandra Jishu Holmes, founders of the Zen Peacemakers Order, with whom he took formal Zen vows, called Jukai. He also studied with Joan Hogetsu Hoeberichts Roshi, followed by years of koan study with Ray Ruzan Cicetti Roshi of Empty Bowl Zendo in Morristown, New Jersey. Henry received Inka, the seal of approval to teach Zen, from Cicetti Roshi in 2024 and was given the dharma name Myoshin. Henry continues to serve as a Sensei (teacher) at Empty Bowl and is part of the White Plum Asanga lineage that goes back to Taizan Maezumi Roshi, who came from Japan in the mid-1950s to introduce Zen practice to Americans.
Who is This Retreat For
This is not a doula training nor is it intended to be a class on Zen Buddhism. And you don’t have to have previous experience as a doula or Zen practitioner—although having experience with being present to someone who has died and any kind of meditation practice is certainly beneficial. The number of participants will be limited to ensure that everyone can share freely and actively engage with each other and the instructor in exercises. A limited number of scholarships will be available. The retreat will cost $750 in addition to Menla’s fees for lodging and meals.
More specifically this workshop retreat is for you if you find yourself:
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Thinking more about the impermanence of life and wanting to live more consciously
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Thinking that something in your life needs to change, even if you’re not sure what that is
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Feeling disconnected from a sense of meaning and purpose
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Approaching a major life transition of any kind
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Being drawn to meditation practice and want to explore it more deeply than for stress reduction
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Working as a caregiver, doula, or counselor and wanting to deal with the internal impact of that work
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Wanting to stop postponing a serious exploration of your life, values, beliefs and goals